Phantom of Emotion

There was a girl who almost gave up

Waiting for someone who could offer love

Knowing that it’s impossible to find

Knowing that there’s no one else behind

Treated every man futile and treacherous

Heart’s cheater; she who suffered woes

She felt betrayed by all of her decisions

Unaided. Howling unto unreasonable mourns

But there was this man who came out of the blue  

Elucidated that life is beautiful, she regret to view

Made her believe in the charm of a second chance

Enfolded her care she never had even at once

He did nothing but made her feels special

In any way she never expected and desire

He showed her the love that is out of the ordinary

He did everything just to win her juvenile sympathy

From his eyes that tells different stories

Down to his heart that speaks without worries

She deems that this man is exceptional

Accept as true that this man deserves someone

Everytime she cries when everything turns her losing

This man always catches her and stops her from crying

His gentle words that make her feel at ease

Are words that would like to heed by her ears

Unintentionally she fell in love with this guy

A feeling she won’t ask for more or ask why

He who portrayed love not after the way she dream to be

Not gone for sweet kisses and mild embraces that is ordinary

Words Desire to Say

Seconds. Minutes. I remember

The way I look into your inner

Your deeds that imprisoned my pluck

Your laugh that stays in my part

Rode with that horse together

While taking this glowing thoroughfare

Played those childlike games

Fought those valiant names

I always remember the thing you’ve given me

Because of that, music lives with my soul entirely

Always caught ourselves laughing

Always chased our lips smiling

Did I say in front of you?

That I strongly love you

Maybe not, that’s why I feel this way

And heart is still in pain

In immediate, you’ve gone

While soul silently abscond

I don’t even heard you say goodbye

I don’t even told how much I mind

Four years ago when you left in grey

But I feel that it was just yesterday

Maybe I just still can’t accept the truth

That I was left in this world in cloak

Asking myself “where are you now”?

To look for you, I don’t know how

I want to embrace our memories

I want to clinch and won’t let you vanish

Now I’m craving to see you once more

Even in dreams I want you to stay on

So I could say what I wanted to say before

Without words, lolo, unto you I adore

I want you to know

I’m glad that I’m your apo

I hope you hear I say these words with hue

I won’t get weary to say how much I love you

Yellow Umbrella

Was that the 14^th day of February

To feel that hearts were floated utterly?

There is something in him I can’t figure out

Made me fall in just a shred of count

His sweetness really meant different to me

I was such unripe, just not like his maturity

I loved him more than just my existence

I loved him even the last slump of my patience

Now I feel the gentle breeze that pass

Kisses my face dressed with a mask

I know that heaven is going to weep

Like me when he started to bequeath

Before I was afraid to strike by heaven’s rip

But he will just sheathe me with his tight grip

He who used to feel me unscathed in his arms

Who I have let go and suddenly missed afterwards

Singing alone the songs we used to sing before

Looking to myself he used to stare before

Sitting alone where we used to sit together before

Walking alone in the road we used to walk together before

I have nobody to share my yellow umbrella with

Not engrossed for someone who will going to bid

When heaven grieves and starts to shed tears once more

When heaven screeches and dare me to reveal my core

Now I don’t mind if I get hit by its cruel tears

Heed nothing when he steadily moved and vanished

He stepped away and I stay here all alone

Must to cease this affection; then never moan

Now I feel the gentle breeze that pass

Kisses my face dressed with a mask

I reminisce of nothing when heaven’s tears go plethora

Summon up of nothing but my missing yellow umbrella

Cage of Solitude

I am in the cage of solitude

I can’t breathe, I can’t move

I am alone and nobody hears

My screams, shouts and tears

I saw him walking away from me

I am confused, I feel empty

How will I get out of here?

How will I hold him near?

Out of the blue, he is gone

I can’t find him, I wish to run

I induce myself that he can still hear me

But stillness occur; tears flow suddenly

I am afraid to look at his eyes

Afraid that he cannot recognize

Would he still embrace me entirely?

Even the cage factually cuddles us awkwardly?

I want him to stay here beside me

But I don’t have the sovereignty

I want to keep him till the end

But the cage just hurt and stiff to mend

I am alone in the darkness of sorrow

I feel so useless that can’t face tomorrow

What would be the word more than forever?

That’s how long I want to keep him in my centre

I want to cry and let go the feeling

I want to shout and try to stop falling

But as long as I stop this affection

I gradually kill myself on my own 

How I wish I could still hold him

I love him even from daytime to dim

How I wish I could still grasp his face

That more often I would like to kiss

I can only wish that I’m beside him

I can only hope for the love I aim

 I’m still fasten with this cage of gutless

No rights for everything I know is priceless  

My heart beats only just his name

This kind of ardour exceedingly not a game

I hear nothing from him but his mirth

I saw him from a distance but lost so swift

I can’t envisage myself here alone in this cage

With just whit of light and gush me discourage

I know that he deserves to be happy

And yet, that happiness is not in me

There’s no other way to obliterate

The cage that made me inadequate

I can just keep an eye on his steps

Definitely better to kick the buckets

I have with nothing at this moment

He is gone and now I am despondent

Maybe this cage is in high spirits

Because I am left by my vehemence

Pitiful, pathetic and misfortune lass

Motionless in this burly cage of dusk

I’m still in the cage of solitude

When he left, I can’t breathe, I can’t move

It's Love

During the past of mine

I don’t know how to measure the time

Spending time with the one I really love

Coz’ I thought, I can love him more and for some

I adore him since we’re child

Coz’ my heart felt, he’s the prince I find

I don’t know if he already knew

That I longed loving him for years, that’s true

I am wondering if that’s only an infatuation

But how can I explain, he’s now my inspiration

Believe me; he inspired me for so long

That really made me brave and strong

When the time that he had been hurt

My prayers for him, I forgot to sort

Because of the overflowing tears

And ponderous, enormous fears

This lady thought God will get him

That’s for sure; my world be in dim

Coz’ that guy serving as my light

When the moment I won’t try to take a sight

If it’s only an infatuation of mine

My Lord, please give me a sign

If not, I’ll just going to ask

Full of concern, has been my task

Sanguine Ode of a Cynical Lass

You left; that was a year ago

Knowing no reason why but still, you go

I cannot coerce you to stay

You’re not blissful with me, what more can I say

Moving on is not that very easy

I cried since you left, that’s a melancholy

I have waited, if you’re going back

I’ve been longing for you; censure fact

Yes, that was a year ago

But still, I love you so

Seeing you with another girl

Is a feeling that I’m starting to fail

How I wish, I could be her

Someone now that you really care

You share the umbrella with

When raindrops underway to trip

But it won’t be the same feeling

You may leave me again lynching

I should admit the veracity

You’re just a part of yesterday’s fantasy

It’s tough to start another day

And saunter on an obscure way

But I need to carve another chapter

Another peak, just to make the story quiver

Heaven knows how much I loved you

But I just endured, if you only knew

Maybe you’re just deadened to do it

Or just taking pleasure of making me upset

Now, I may be brawny enough to carry on

And trouble-free now for me to go on

I deem that there is somebody in the future

Geared up to applaud me, I am very sure

I hope someday that he won’t be like you

Who made me sob, who don’t help me to grew

It’s just that we don’t justify each other’s loyalty

And you’re just a torn in my striking story

Past Whisperer

It is very ridiculous to reveal

Afterall what happened, I love you still

And it made my heart cry out

And a feeling inside of me wanted to shout

I admit, it hurts me when you did it once

But my heart melted with your simple glance

I’m afraid to let go of the past

For you are the reason why my heart beats fast

I always remember you when I hear our song

I know, loving you this way is very wrong

How will I give another chance for you

If there’s in my life, a somebody new

Even I’m with another guy

I was tricked when I used to lie

I proclaimed that I am over you

But why my heart want to pursue

Saying “I hate you” is only in my mind

My spirit taken away, that’s why I can’t find

Though you still have space in my heart

I and our memories need to settle apart

Promise

When you catch me looking at your eyes

Don’t say a thing, just wait for the sun to rise

I tried my best to ignore this

But in my heart, I don’t have the peace

I tried not to show my feeling

Loving you, I know, is the most stupid thing

I want to keep the friendship we have

You promised, nothing will just more than of that

Even you’re there, I felt I am a loner

If I admit, I know you’re going to leave me sooner

It’s very hard, but I sacrificed it all

So that in me, you’re not going to fall

I just want you to be happy

“Joy”, that’s all brought by your wanted lady

Even your happiness gives me pain

I’ll do everything, just to keep that promise remain

Stupidity

It’s stupidity if I still love you

Afterall what happened, look what you do

We know that we were not meant to

What is it in me if I just let you go

Now that I have somebody new

He’s my man, if you only knew

If you also had it, it’s not an argue

But how come letting me know, you pursue?

Do you want to hurt me that way?

I am not affected, I will always say

If you have somebody else, I’ll pray

Longed your companion not like ours yesterday

You don’t need to show me the reality

Coz’ I faced it when I set you free

I just don’t know if you really agree

Coz’ in times we meet, you looked guilty

Stupidity, yes it is

Stop that, I say it please

I know; our memories just made you miss

But I beg you, with my new one, give us the peace

"JS"

You told me not to cry

It’s very hard for me to try

I cry because you give me reason to

I cry because of, no one else but you

Since you left me alone

I asked, what’s wrong for the I’d shown

Is there something for you to hate me?

Why you asked me to set you free?

Now, there’s no reason for me to stay

Nobody will catch me when I want to lay

All of the plans we made had faded

Now that we fall apart and not committed

There’s no reason now for me to hear our song

To do it is stupidity and perfectly wrong

I don’t have the reason to look forward

It’s very hard for me to let go, I’m a coward

But I need to accept the reality

We didn’t make it ‘til eternity

It’s time for another goodbye

I need to admit, I lost my guy

If letting you go brings you happiness

Don’t expect me to avoid loneliness

Then I have the reason to cry

You are the reason, I’m gaping, why?